Dear God! Do people actually do this? I don’t understand it! Why the hell would you want someone farting on your face for pleasure? It doesn’t stand up to reason. If I were to do this to someone today I would be arrested within a few minutes. It’s absurd. I can only think of a few situations where this is warranted…….

• If a fellow fart enthusiast has a rather poor sense of smell you may want to give them a closer whiff of the merchandise. Be careful not to blow their head off in the process
• Instead of beating someone up it might be better just to show your disdain by letting off a bigger daddy in their face and laughing. Give farts a chance goddamnit!
• Just arrived at the scene of a freeway accident? Has the person no pulse? Then fart in their face! This will immediately perk them up. They’ll jump right up and start running in the opposite direction as fast as possible.
• You might want to use face farting as a primitive part of an attitude test in the food industry. This will help guage the persons sensitivity to smell.